How to deal with verbal aggression of children?

With verbal aggression in children, almost every parent has a problem - some of them struggle repeatedly during the day, others very sporadically. What is the result of verbal aggression and how to deal with it? What parental mistakes do parents make when they cannot cope with verbal aggression of children?

Causes of verbal aggression in children

Aggression is caused by anger and the helplessness of children and adolescents. The child is looking for a way to express his emotions, and when he finds no other solution, he resorts to various socially unacceptable ways of dealing with a difficult situation. Just as joy expresses through laughter, it expresses anger through screaming, crying or picking out the ugliest words that only come to mind at any given moment.

If our child begins to be aggressive, we cannot pretend that nothing is happening, nor can we choose the seemingly easiest solution, that is, prohibiting the use of inappropriate vocabulary and cutting the subject.

How to deal with verbal aggression of children of all ages?

Each case is individual, each anger has a different source and every child with a specific situation will try to deal with each other differently. However, there are some general rules that all parents should follow:

  • Do not trivialize the problem - talking with your child will help us determine where the aggression comes from, and the interest in his problem is an important element in dealing with the child's
  • The topic "clean up and finish", "end of conversation" or "you do not have the right to vote" is not an argument, words that open up an even bigger fuss or cause the child to stop talking to us.
  • Compromises help to solve most problems - a compromise is always a good solution. The child sees that we take them seriously and that we are also ready for some concessions.

The most common parental mistakes made by parents

We learn our whole life, also from mistakes – our own and others. Getting to know the most common parental mistakes made by parents, maybe we can avoid them in our own home:

  • Put yourself in a position higher than your child's, exaltation
  • Evaluating a child instead of assessing his / her behavior
  • Lack of ability to admit your own mistakes
  • Lack of a good example - parents showing respect to loved ones, people they know or are completely foreign, show the child that respect belongs to everyone, regardless of whether we like someone or not. Children constantly watch us and learn from us, we are an example for them, they often imitate us unconsciously.

Of course, the above principles should be known and adhered to also by children's guardians - educators at school, nanny or extracurricular activities. We should also remember that eliminating aggressive behavior in a child requires a lot of time, our learning and patience.

agresja u dzieci